Do I Still Run?

2012 at the Refuse to Abuse 5k

Well, here's an update to answer that question.  It's more one of self-reflection than anything but the answer is clouded with all sorts of issues.  Short version, "No, not right now".   When I moved back to the mountain full time in the fall of 2014, I was still running.  Because that was a drought year, I ran off and on through the winter months and was still in decent running shape.  When we got the puppy my running schedule took a nose dive and we did a lot more hiking and walking that spring and summer than running.  Last fall however I was still running into October.  Then things went south... real snow meant limited access to running routes and I ended up doing a lot of hiking around in the snow, snowshoeing, xc skiing and snowboarding.  All of this is great.  It's just the "specificity" principle that started to hurt my running.  What else?  

Shoes...yup. I have had a terrible time finding shoes that are "right"?  has that happened to you ?  They change shoes so often that even shoes I have loved became, in new versions, terrible!  This spring I was in love with my Altras but , being that I pronate and have some other alignment issues, I only wore them for two months before they began to bother me.  The Asics road shoes I purchased also didn't seem to last very long before they became squishy and lopsided.  I wear them still.  In the lake.  I'm hoping for my birthday, next week, to go purchase a pair of shoes that work for me.  I may go back to Adidas trail shoes , which have always been my go to shoe. 

Menopause....son of a bitch.  Menopause has been kicking my ass this past year. My journey through it began several years ago but this year I had some really bad, strange set backs.  First of all, I don't sleep. Not sleeping is just not okay.  It messes with your ability to recover from anything , let alone if you are doing anything athletic.  That 3 mile run or hike becomes like a marathon to your sleep deprived body and the changes in hormones also inhibit your recovery.  The two together, nice combination! I've tried lots of ways to remedy my sleep issues .  I'm still working on it.

Muscle aches,  leg cramps, fatigue....back in April at the end of the ski season I was doing a lot and more or less dealing with the recovery problems.  But then I got hit with this stretch of awful leg and muscle pain, night time leg cramps, muscle fatigue and general weakness.  I went to my doctor (all my blood work was normal) and also to a physical medicine specialist trying to solve the problem.  Some of it was related to previous issues, like the bursitis in my right hip, an old groin pull that popped back up and piriformis syndrome in that same leg. But the pain at night, feeling of exhaustion and complete melt down was something new.  what was it?  well, it finally subsided in June.  What was different?  I had a period after not having one for 11 months and 2 weeks!  When it was over, I felt totally fine!!!!  Son of a BITCH.  Then I realized that I had other clues that all along it was hormones messing with me. But because I hadn't had a period in so long I didn't recognize them.  My asthma was really bad, which can happen with menopause, and definitely was an issue in the past few years.  I also had experienced the same type of aches, just not to that extreme.  Oh and I admit....some changes in mood.  (well who wouldn't at that point?)  I never experienced any of that stuff when I was younger so it came as a big surprise.  

Anyway, there's the long version to what happened with my running routine.  I've started back at it and have been doing a little walk-run stuff around the mountain, really paying attention to my hydration and nutrition needs, trying to sleep, and trying to not let menopause mess me up!  If it's been kicking your ass what do you do to kick back?  If you had problems during the transition have they gone away?  Body chemistry is a really complex but intriguing topic.  If you , as an athlete , have any insight to the aging body and how to get the most from it, I'd love to hear it!  Mostly I just try to  ignore it and overcome it by sheer will!  Happy Running friends!!

Monday Things, "Happiness Weighed"

My well-thumbed copy of Moby Dick

There's a passage in Moby Dick, my favorite book, work of art, titled The Doubloon.   A gold piece, a doubloon, has been affixed to the mast.  It is from Ecuador, inscribed with various images including what appear to be the signs of the zodiac. Several different ship's men stand before it one by one and relate their thoughts. Flask sees it as nothing more than a piece of gold.  He says, " I see nothing here, but a round thing made of gold, and whoever raises a certain whale, this round thing belongs to him."  He goes on to equate it's worth to how many cigars he can buy with it, 960.  Stubb, the first mate, stands in front of it and says this:

"Look you, doubloon, your zodiac here is the life of man in one round chapter; and now I'll read it off , straight out of the book!  Come, Almanack!  To begin: there's Aries, or the Ram-lecherous dog, he begets us; then Taurus, or the Bull- he bumps us first thing; then Gemini, or the Twins- that is, Virtue and Vice; we try to reach Virtue, when lo! comes Cancer the Crab and drags us back; and here, going from Virtue, Leo, a roaring lion, lies in the path- he gives a few fierce bites, and surly dabs with his paw; we escape, and hail Virgo, the Virgin! that's our first love; we marry and think to be happy for aye, when pop comes Libra, or the Scales- happiness weighed and found wanting; and while we are very sad about that, Lord! how we suddenly jump, as Scorpio, or the Scorpion, stings us in rear; we are curing the wound, when whang come the arrows all round; Sagittarius, or the Archer, is amusing himself. As we pluck out the shafts, stand aside! here's the battering-ram, Capricornus, or the Goat; full tilt, he comes rushing, and headlong we are tossed; when Aquarius, or the Water-bearer, pours out his whole deluge and drowns us; and, to wind up, with Pisces, or the Fishes, we sleep.  There's a sermon now, writ in high heaven, and  the sun goes through it every year, and yet comes out of it all alive and hearty..."

Ahhhh.  That really sums it up, doesn't it?  I'm not sure what stage I am in, but so often it feels like I am dodging that ram, trying to out run the scorpion.  Perhaps it is just a Monday sentiment.  A rainy Monday, books and coffee, emails from a friend: I need to lace up my shoes and go hike up the mountain.  I will weigh happiness as I take in the view. I do not think I will find it wanting.